Buying a Drink for a Woman

Introduction

 

Lets review a little from our last narrative about your expedition to speak with Ms. Cindy. 

You left Billy in the booth pounding his Patron to go speak to Cindy. You walked up, said your introduction, smiled, and shook her hand. But then you decided to jump the gun. You flag the bartender down.

"Another beer for me please, and what are you having?" you turn and ask her. You see her eyes dart to the right and an eyebrow slightly raised.

"I'll take a beer," she says. She uncrosses her arms to take the beer from the bar tender and starts to pound the drink. You keep yapping along as she nods her head in your general direction. Her eyes continue to shift around. She's not saying much. Then after she's pounded the beer, she gives you a half ass smile and says.

"Thanks for the beer, but I have to get back to my friends."

So what the fuck just happened?

Sometimes, She's Just Not Into You

 

I hate to break it to you, but you're not Brad Pit. Therefore every woman you walk up to is not going to like you. If you disagree with me, congratulations Narcissus, you're a fucking moron.  Go back to the gym and flex in the mirror more.

For a gentleman, you will find cases such as this when you walk up and speak to a lady. She's going to be cordial with you if you are cordial with her, but sometimes she just may be picky. 

What you did wrong in the above narrative was buy her a drink to fast. Women who have manners feel obligated to at least talk to you for a little while if you buy them a beer, even if they think you are as ugly as Hephaestus. This may give you more time to talk to them, but most women who are not into you will feel awkward and pound the beer as fast as possible so they can move on to the Hercules at the other side of the bar that they've been looking at all night. 

The Classy Way to Buy A Drink For a Woman

So if she's probably not going to be into you, why go up in the first place? You're right, its a risk. She may not like you. And that kind of rejection is not the best feeling. But you still want to talk to her. What do you do?

So lets say you are back with Billy in the booth of the bar eying Cindy sitting at a high table with her friends. You want to talk to her, but you just aren't sure if she's going to be into you. 

Here's is what you do. 

"From the Gentleman at the booth over there"

Step 1 - Have the waitress/barmaid bring her a drink. The barmaid comes to your table to ask if you'd like to get another drink. You say yes, but then you ask what Cindy over there is drinking. You then ask that the next drink she has be on your tab. 

Oh my God oh my God oh My God!

Okay, don't get excited. Stay calm and keep it in your pants. This is what is what Cindy and her friends are going to do when that next drink comes to her. 

Step 2 - The barmaid is going to point over to your table and explain that the drink is from you when she delivers it. 

Okay, that makes sense. 

 

Step 3 - The ladies are going to look at you. It is very important at this point that you DO NOT LOOK. Keep it cool, keep asking Billy about how he got his wang stuck in the jet of his jacuzzi, and don't pay attention to them. Just ignore them for the moment. 

Brian, are you out of your fucking element? I'm going to be waiting on the edge of my seat until the barmaid sends that drink. I'll get to wave and make eye contact and then make my move.

Then you'll look like a creep. Remember, ladies do not like to be stared at. So if Cindy gets that drink and you raise your glass as soon as she looks over, that means that you've been staring the whole time. Bad move. Shes going to feel creeped out and probably move tables. 

Step 4 - They are going to talk about you. This is a good thing. 

But what exactly are they discussing? 

Would you stop interrupting me for Christ sake? I'll get to that. 

Step 5 - Cindy is going to make her choice. She is either going to do one of four things, which all mean different things:

a) Not thank you or acknowledged that you bought her the drink = Stuck up bitch
b) Acknowledge that she appreciates the drink by a head nod, wave, or raise of the glass = polite, but just not into you
c) Walk over and thank you for the drink, then be on her way = More polite than most and may be curious
d) Walk over, thank you for the drink, and start a conversation = Shes in to you 

The Message You Send

 

Lets get down to brass tacks here. What kind of message does this send to her?

It gives her the option. 

When a girl gets a drink from you delivered by the waitress, it gives her the option to talk to you if she wishes. When you walk up and buy her a drink, she feels obligated and might make her uncomfortable. In this scenario, she gets to chose if she wants to talk to you or not. This will avoid making her feel uncomfortable and its less over bearing on her part. 

She will feel more open.

When she looks over and sees you talking with your friends and ignoring her, it sends the message that you are not a creep, and you haven't been staring. (or at least from what she has seen). Moreover, it allows her and all her friends to look you up and down without feeling the awkwardness of you looking back. Again, it puts her at ease knowing there's no awkward tension with eyes back and forth. 

Its a Different Approach.

Guys rarely do this kind of thing anymore. It will help to distinguish you as a gentleman and standout from the rest of the douche bags in the bar. Girls like to run across gentlemen who distinguish themselves from the rest, thus making you more interesting and appealing. It will increase your chances that they wan to talk to you. 

The Benefits for you

 

You may think this choice is cheesy, but let me outline the advantages you gain from doing this. 

You won't look like 'that guy'

You know what I am talking about: the guy who walks up to every hot looking girl in the bar and tries to hit on her. Trust me gentlemen, girls are watching and see who you talk to. If they see you've been shut down twice and you walk up to her, you're telling her you are third choice on your list for trying to get a one night stand. 

Increase your chances

If you have the coin, you can send as many drinks to as many woman as you want. This way, even if they turn you down, the other ladies will not see you being turned down. And if all else fails after doing this a few times, you can take the regular approach and walk up to talk to others, thus making it less obvious that Cindy might be number four on your list. 

You'll know shes into you.

If Cindy walks over to you and starts talking, the message is very clear: Shes into you. And that is exactly what you are looking for. Your chances of leaving with her number increase dramatically. Moreover she may bring her friends, in which case Billy will regret sticking his wanker into the jacuzzi jet earlier knowing he may have to use it later. This also means her friends might take interest in your friends. So everyone wins. 

Conclusion

 

This is definitely a passive approach. It can also be expensive as well. But if you are the introvert and you feel like throwing a lure out there to see what catches, this is a great way to go. 

Plus, it feels pretty bad ass knowing that a woman walked up to you instead of the other way around. 

Just do me a favor and don't run up a dozen drinks on your tab and think it will get you laid. You still need to do the foot work of being a gentlemen and treating her like a lady.

And for the love of Zeus, stop looking at her goddamn tits!